I definitely don't deserve to be in the team. Without my 10 wicket match, my stats would have been ridiculously bad. Hopefully I can get some sort of form and join you in the attack Heef!
The only reason I unretired is that I got the hard word that it was setting a bad example and that other guys were trying to make themselves unavailable for other teams for no good reason and using me as an example. Imma stirring cunt Naming no names, of course.
Ritchie kept telling me he was just one injury away from making the team; so I couldn't have that. Bizarrely, he seemed to think that an injury to a top order batsman was likely to see him in the team?!?