Not at all pleased with the thread name, and the whole one thread per team thing, just post articles as you please lol
Sounds like a cop show. I expect to see Ged and co sliding over car bonnets with well kept moustaches and killer aviators. OH MY GAWD, it's a mirage - I'm tellin ya'll it's sabotage!
We will be doing all that in more in bringing you the news stories of the day. Heef even went to Moscow for his first story.
From Russia with Trepidation By Heef Davis The wind chills me to the bone as I walk down the darkened street. I pull the thick, furry coat closer to my body and rub my hands together to create some warmth. I’m here with more than a fair amount of trepidation. I’m meeting a legend of the game; one whose ego and personality stand before him like an advertising hoarding garishly telling you about the latest Nasal Delivery System. I’ve heard that he can wither the hardiest of amateur journalists with a single look, and give you a verbal hammering that you’re unlikely to forget if you happen to be of slightly the wrong skin colour. I did make sure that I washed off that boot polish I’d rubbed on my face when I was taking the piss out of the ticket collector on the train didn’t I? I rub my cheek, just to check there’s no boot polish on there. Oh, wrong cheek. Try again. What am I even doing here? I touched down in Moscow barely three hours ago, and the trek across the city has done me no good whatsoever. Is he trying to be deliberately enigmatic? Why do we have to meet in a public toilet in Moscow anyway? And why has he asked me to bring a kilo of urinal cakes. I gulp in a deep breath of cold, polluted air and continue into the night. The unfeeling grey of the concrete toilet block looms ahead of me in the shade of a decrepit Soviet-era tower block. Concrete stacks piled on concrete stacks. A charmless, obese Muskavite regards me with disapproval. I ponder whether she used to be a man, whether she is actually a man anyway, whether she used to compete at the Olympics in the Shot Put and finally whether she’s been paid for sex by Brett Gemmell. I suspect any of these thoughts could be true and I walk down the dozen or so steps into the toilet. The stench isn’t great, and its dark. If anything, its colder than it was outside. Again, I wonder what the hell I’m doing – but I’m here now – its too late to turn back. The sound of deep exhalation greets my ears, and I turn with a start. A shadowy figure is standing right by me – illuminated by the dim light of a Cuban cigar; maybe a Havana, I can’t be sure – that he is sucking on intently. He calls me a shit Kent for meeting him there. I don’t have the guts to tell him that he chose the location. I also don’t have the guts to tell him that I don’t know what a Kent is. I guess he’d just chastise me for it. I ask him how he feels now that he’s back playing cricket again for the Stingrays. His reply is far from positive. He claims he was brought there under false pretences. He wants first team cricket, and to be fair his record speaks volumes. He has over 5,000 first class runs, he has six hundreds and he used to run the successful Redbacks. Surely he has more claim to a place in the Bannerman Shield than the inexperienced Kelvin Fung? Well, its the controversy that surrounds Elliott Volavola – yes, that’s who I’m talking to – that is costing him in the grand scheme of things. Banned from the Bannerman Shield for most of Season 7 and the whole of Season 8, he’s now an unknown quantity. Not only that, but the Cricsim Cricket Federation have banned him from communication with the media – hence, our meeting in the insalubrious surroundings of a Moscow water closet. Its clear that his opinion of the hierarchy that keeps him down is pretty negative. Most of which, if I printed here would be bound to attract censure. I find it somewhat ironic in the historic surroundings of greater Moscow that Volavola refers to the Communist nature of the Cricsim hierarchy. Yes, he’s bitter but he feels he’s done the time to fit the crime and he’s now being harshly targeted and treated differently from other members. Let’s look at the facts. In his time back on a Cricsim contract at the Stingrays, there have been some departures – a number of which cited Volavola as a reason for their departure. A number of high profile Stingrays, however, were willing to state to this reporter (off the record, of course) that the players who have left and cited Volavola as a reason were of no great loss to the club. Then there's the case of the public slanging match between Volavola and the Cricsim Cricket Federation. From time to time, Volavola makes a polite request (as polite as one can be when being continually monitored like a petulant child) to the CCF, seeking an allowance to liaise with the media. These requests are turned down, often publically, and usually with the added threat that the CCF can cancel Volavola's Stingrays contract at any time. Now, which side is the immature one in this one way exchange? Given Volavola's track record, and the obvious benefits that he can bring given the opportunity to strike out in the first XI, if the Stingrays can strike a balance between Volavola and the rest of the squad, and find a group that can not only live with the outspoken wicket keeper, but can positively thrive alongside him then the Club is sure to go from strength to strength. After all, is that not the best thing for the game? The thing to get the turnstiles moving and the people watching the game. Volavola is part of the history of the Cricsim Cricket Federation. He’s needed more than ever before, so rather than treating him as an outcast, maybe its time to welcome him in from the cold. Volavola is part of the rich history of the Cricsim Cricket Federation and his current treatment is almost criminal, considering his standing amongst his peers. For now, Volavola is languishing in the Stingrays second XI. He doesn't know the name of their Avo Lovers Cup team, he doesn't care about what his 2nd XI team mates are called; he's chomping at the bit to be given the opportunity to take to the field in the Bannerman Shield. The opportunity we all want to see; to come up against his detractors and have him come out on top is bound to come - and soon. One person he does know the name of is Ged King. Volavola tells me that he speaks to King before each training session, is in his ear during the training session and talks to him again afterwards. When's the Shield opportunity gonna come? Its only a matter of time before the name EL Volavola is again etched on a Bannerman Shield teamsheet, and no doubt soon to be followed by his name on an Honours Board or two. I, for one, am looking forward to hearing the familiar sound of racial and sexual slurs being directed at the batsman from behind the stumps. Its been too long, and I'm glad its back.
