The Edgbaston Taps

Discussion in 'CPL Cricket' started by Howe, Jan 21, 2020.

  1. Howe JHF Howe

    The KB Edgbaston Taps

    Brought to you by


    Chairman: Jake Howe

    Director of Cricket: Dan Wayne​
  2. Howe JHF Howe


    Ankit Bawne
    6159 runs at 49.27, 18 hundreds
    Pick #11

    Dan Notes: India A Record: 663 @ 55.25
    The heights of his early career have eluded Bawne in recent times, but his class is undeniable. Once a prodigious talent, now an experienced Ranji batsman and A-team fixture, Bawne solidifies the middle order of a mediocre side and holds the team together. He may never quite reach the level that once looked there for the taking, but he’s a damn good batsman nonetheless

    Howe Notes: I looked up a lot of Dan's early suggestions and made some comments on their Cricinfo profile pictures. I approve of Ankit Bawne because he looks like he is taking part in a romcom. Look at those nice pastel colours. If it appeared in a poster I could take my mum to go see that. Lovely.

    AB De Villiers
    10689 runs at 49.71, 25 hundreds
    Pick #2

    Dan Notes: Combined Test & ODI batting average in the 2010s: 61.08
    Freakishly talented and prolific, de Villiers hasn’t lost a step since his arguably premature retirement from the international game in 2018. He has shots all around the ground but can block out for days if needed. He can field anywhere or take the wicketkeeping gloves. For a while he was even South Africa’s fifth bowler in ODIs, purely on the basis that he can presumably do anything.

    Howe Notes: It's ABDV, y'know? He is who he is. He comes out, you say his initials rather than his name like he's a robot, he smacks a ton and it's great, later on you try to come up with reasons it doesn't count. Then he records a shitty christian rock single and vaguely hints at maybe un-retiring for a major international tournament if you pay him a truckful of diamonds. In fact by the end of this note I've convinced myself he is a terrible person.

    Baba Indrajith
    3367 runs at 50.25, 9 hundreds
    Pick #10

    Dan Notes: FC Batting Average from 2016-17 to 2019-20: 62.43
    Exceptional against spin and exceptionally mature for a young man, Indrajith may be the best uncapped batsman going around – and is almost certainly the best batsman to have never got a call-up for his country’s A side. He’s often sat quietly in his twin brother’s shadow despite being a much better batsman, flying under the radar as batsmen get rated more on style than substance. Indra’s the kind of guy who’ll average 50 without you noticing – the batsmanship of Pujara crossed with the memorability of Woakes.

    Howe Notes: Sung to the tune of the Beach Boys classic. I don't know who this is. Let's move on.

    Tamim Iqbal
    6713 runs at 42.22, 15 hundreds
    Pick #4

    Dan Notes: Percentage of Lord’s Honours Board entries by Bangladeshi batsmen: 100%
    Comfortably the greatest batsman from Bangladesh who isn’t a fixer, and he’s still somehow only 30. He’s got a long track record of Test match success in a typically-rubbish team, and has been key to Bangladesh’s development into a competitive Test team. Even when he seems out of form, he’s never far from runs.

    Howe Notes: Probably the first non-Ashes series I watched in its entirety was the time Bangladesh toured England in 2010, I and a bunch of other people got way too over-excited at this mini Sehwag lumping England backup seamers to the off side boundary for days while the likes of Junaid Siddique and Imrul Kayes made him look like he was from another planet. Later, Bangladesh became a semi-decent Test side and everything about him was ruined.

    Nick Larkin
    1632 runs at 29.67, 3 hundreds
    Pick #8

    Dan Notes: Career Futures League record: 1990 @ 82.92
    Underestimate Nick Larkin at your peril. The spiritual heir to Greg Mail as Sydney University’s contribution to the Best Ever Second XI Cricketer stakes, Larkin is a seriously classy batsman with a misleading FC record – there’s only so much you can beat up on David Moody when you’re used to facing better bowlers in the Futures League, y’know. And I bet Ireland wouldn’t have been rolled for 38 at Lord’s if they’d bothered to pick him.

    Howe Notes: It is said that those who doth see the Larkin will be cleansed, and then, there shall be peace. I've no frame of reference whatseover for Nick Larkin other than the extent by which Dan tears up at his throbbing tumescence of a batting record. Pleased to have him on our side, you could put someone's eye out with that thing.

    Zohaib Khan
    5129 runs at 36.89, 8 hundreds; 203 wickets at 31.52, 6 five-fors
    Pick #14

    Dan Notes:Times described as a ‘captaining all-rounder’: 1
    Z O H A I B

    Howe Notes: Intimidated as I was by Dan's drafting prowess, I left the bulk of our first XI picks up to him. By the time we were in round 13 or so I had started to come up with real suggestions, not all of whom were my favourite players from 10 years ago, and we had two genuinely good batsmen in mind to pick when Dan had the CPL equivalent of a stroke and did this. Cricinfo doesn't have a picture of him, but it does reveal he hasn't taken a wicket all season. There. There is your note, you fucking lunatic.

    Eoin Morgan
    5042 runs at 33.39, 11 hundreds
    Pick #15

    Dan Notes: 2019 World Cup Record: 371 @ 41.22
    He’s got every shot in the book, fields like mad, is a perfectly good captain and can take the gloves if called upon. And he backs it up with white ball runs by the truckload. He never quite clicked at Test level and hasn’t really had to focus on his red ball game since taking over the England ODI captaincy, but the class of Eoin Morgan is undeniable.

    Howe Notes: Eoin Morgan once played the greatest shot of all time. He was playing for Middlesex (I know, weird) and on about 170* in a 50 over game. He was facing one of those county batsmen who bowl medium slow in sunglasses like your uncle who's on to bowl a bit because you're 12 and getting smashed. Anyway the pie chucker threw it down leg while Morgan shaped up to reverse sweep, including turning his bat over on the leg side. Realising it was a shit ball, he turned the bat backwards to hit the thing down to long leg with a vertical backwards wrist drive. To this day it is the most incredible thing I have ever seen anyone do with the willow. It was a single. Later a lot of people would say he has great wrists because he played hurling in Ireland which is a bit racist. GOOD PLAYER.

    Bahir Shah
    2323 runs at 72.59, 8 hundreds
    Pick #17

    Dan Notes: Runs scored on FC debut as a 17 year old: 256
    Say what you want about the standard of Afghani domestic cricket, but you can only make runs against what’s put in front of you and Bahir Shah makes a shitload of them. He’s a classy batsman who made an unbeaten 250 on debut as a 17 year old – can’t argue with that too much. It’s hard to imagine that there won’t be an international career ahead of Bahir, and it’s hard to imagine that he won’t benefit from lining up alongside AB de Villiers.

    Howe Notes: Dan, maybe don't invite people to say what they want, people can be mean and hurtful. Surprised to discover that Shah has a profile picture. He looks nice.

    Dane Vilas
    8872 runs at 42.24, 21 hundreds
    Pick #7

    Dan Notes: Batsmen with higher averages in England in 2019: 2 (SPD Smith, OJD Pope)
    Another cricketer with experience working with Dan back in 2012, Vilas has always been one of the best and most consistent domestic performers in South Africa. Underappreciated by his country as a result of Quinton de Kock, a brief international career in 2015-16 gave way to the Kolpak life. Now he’s arguably at the peak of his powers with bat and gloves, and is ready to bring that experience to the CPL.

    Howe Notes: Pretty sure Dane Vilas played Test matches at some point and only stopped because Quinton de Kock had a far too South African name to leave out of the international sides. Vilas is unassuming, underrated and sly, he sounds like a villain from a 90s cartoon, this is a great selection.
    Cribbage likes this.
  3. Howe JHF Howe


    Qais Ahmad
    68 wickets at 20.51, 5 five-fors
    Pick #12

    Dan Notes: Record vs Devon Smith in ODIs: 4 @ 10.00
    Dominates left handers, does not chuck. Can bat and bowl pretty much anywhere, does not chuck. He’s an exceptionally economical white ball bowler who parlayed that into a late career resurgence in Test cricket with the ball, and is probably the most consistent opening option Pakistan have had since, what, Saeed Anwar? Throw in his history with coach Howe and it’s a natural fit.

    Howe Notes: I remember when Afghanistan were first playing tournaments and they were supposed to have this ace in the hole which was their gun pace attack with people like Hamid Hassan and Shapoor Zadran. I remember Shapoor Zadran getting all sorts of great attention at the world cup in 2015 because his name sounds like Trapdoor. As in, oh shit, you underestimated the legit Afghan pace attack! You fell right through the TRAPDOOR. Anyway now all of Afghanistan's good young bowlers are spinners and it's less fun because now they're a mini Sri Lanka. Qais Ahmed, yeah, I'm sure he's fine.

    Keith Barker
    3955 runs at 28.25, 6 hundreds; 397 wickets at 25.49, 15 five-fors
    Pick #16

    Dan Notes: FC Bowling averages since 2011: 32, 21, 23, 28, 28, 23, 24, 17, 26
    Exceptionally consistent with bat and ball over the years, Barker is the kind of guy who goes down as a county cult hero. He swings the ball and is sharp enough to do the job, puts in big shifts, provides runs in the lower order (often when you need them most), and is the sort of guy you’d always like to have around the dressing room.

    Howe Notes: Keith Barker is the sort of player you really really rate in order to show other people how clever you are. Unlike stats picks I'd never heard of, Keith Barker is a super-effective county player I had completely forgotten about. Silent but deadly. He is going to dominate this shit.

    Tim Bresnan
    6599 runs at 28.56, 6 hundreds; 552 wickets at 30.96, 9 five-fors
    Pick #13

    Dan Notes: Bowling average in winning Ashes Tests: 20.66
    Solid is probably a good word to describe Bres. Solid with the ball, complementing Anderson and Braod beautifully through one of England’s most successful periods. Solid with the bat, complementing Yorkshire’s top order during one of their most successful recent periods. He’ll bat anywhere, bowl as many overs as needed, and generally do whatever helps the team. And as CWPL revealed, he even has his own cinematic universe.

    Howe Notes: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
    He bowls and he bats
    and he's from Pontefract
    and he used to fat, Tim Bresnan
    He bowls and he bats
    and he's from Pontefract
    and he used to fat, Tim Bresnan
    He bowls and he bats
    and he's from Pontefract
    and he used to fat, Tim Bresnan
    He bowls and he bats
    and he's from Pontefract,
    he used to be fat,
    xbox to relax
    he's got no mustache
    he's never too flash
    and his son is called Max
    and that's all of my facts on Tim Bresnan

    Trent Boult
    372 wickets at 27.11, 16 five-fors
    Pick #1

    Dan Notes: Non-Test FC record: 116 wickets at 25.14
    He bowls at 140ish and swings it around corners, he pulls off near-impossible catches, and he bats like a weirdly competent flamingo. It’s pretty hard not to like Trent Boult the cricketer. He debuted in one of NZ’s most famous wins – Hobart 2011 – and probably solidified the Southee-Boult partnership in Sri Lanka 2012 (coincidentally, not long after a brief stint under Dan in the aborted 2012 CWPL season). Almost a decade on from his debut and he’s become one of the pre-eminent white ball bowlers in the world and laid claim to being recognised as the second best Kiwi quick of all time.

    Howe Notes: On CW someone photoshopped a picture of Trent Boult so he was splayed out over a river, and captioned it 'Trent Bridge'. That is mainly what I remember when I think about Trent Boult. I usually don't watch tests where he is good because they're on in the middle of the night and England are bad in them. So I don't even rate this pick.

    Liam Hatcher
    5 wickets at 18
    Pick #18

    Dan Notes: 2019/20 Futures League record: 21 @ 9.38
    The bowling Nick Larkin, Hatcher’s Futures League record is ridiculous. His first taste of domestic cricket as a part of the Greg Chappell XI was…not great, but a few years on he looks ready to step up and become a serious FC bowler. He’s got a strong and repeatable action, he gets the ball to move, he’s accurate, he’s sharp enough, and he knows how to take wickets. Onwards and upwards as he develops his craft alongside a bowling attack full of experience.

    Howe Notes: Dan described him to me as the bowling Larkin, which allowed me to have confidence in this selection and forget his name immediately.

    Mohammad Hafeez
    12169 runs at 34.76, 26 hundreds; 253 wickets at 26.73, 7 five-fors
    Pick #9

    Dan Notes: Record vs Devon Smith in ODIs: 4 @ 10.00
    Dominates left handers, does not chuck. Can bat and bowl pretty much anywhere, does not chuck. He’s an exceptionally economical white ball bowler who parlayed that into a late career resurgence in Test cricket with the ball, and is probably the most consistent opening option Pakistan have had since, what, Saeed Anwar? Throw in his history with coach Howe and it’s a natural fit.

    Howe Notes: Mohammed Hafeez is nicknamed 'professor'. Mohammed Hafeez once batted in pads with a marijuana leaf on them. Mohammed Hafeez has a perfectly square head and takes top order wickets with some black magic fuckery or other. A++ selection. Chucks.

    Keshav Maharaj
    3241 runs at 20.38, 2 hundreds; 481 wickets at 27.89, 27 five-fors
    Pick #3

    Dan Notes: FC Record since start of the 2018 season: 101 wickets @ 27.25
    Got Steve Smith out three times. Can bowl a lot of overs. Used to bowling on unhelpful surfaces I guess. Look I’m not that enthused either but he was the best spinner left.

    Howe Notes: For a while I repeated myself a lot that Dane Piedt was a legit good bowler after he played a few Tests against England and would go on to take a lot of test wickets. Ever since then Maharaj has been playing for them instead so he must be a pretty solid bowler. This week he's been an A+ slogging tailender while taking five for a million while no one else wants to bowl, which is endearing. GOOD PLAYER.

    Chris Morris
    2535 runs at 32.92, 4 hundreds; 196 wickets at 24.28, 4 five-fors
    Pick #5

    Dan Notes: Difference between batting average and bowling average since the start of the 2018 season: 20.07
    A very competent seam bowler who is also very competent with the bat, Morris is pretty much the 2010s equivalent of the 1990s South African all-rounder. He hasn’t quite proven himself as international class but is clearly much too good for domestic cricket. Will likely bowl first change and hit the ball hard from 8, providing stability when needed and turning matches when called upon.

    Howe Notes: Chris Morris played some tests against England a few years ago and I didn't think he was much cop. He is definitely one of those white south african allrounders who end up in the county second division taking a million wickets for Gloucestershire in exchange for a flat. I have heard that he has made some big waves in franchise T20 leagues which is against his nature and he should probably be killed.

    Chris Tremain
    238 wickets at 24.08, 8 five-fors
    Pick #6

    Dan Notes: Wickets taken in last three Sheffield Shield seasons: 138
    Tremain debuted for NSW as a 21 year old and took 7 on debut against Victoria. But when Tremain couldn’t get much of a game in his home state, he jumped the Murray down to Mexico and became one of the most consistent first class bowlers in the country. Now he just keeps taking wickets year after year and is well-entrenched in the Australia A set-up – not a bad guy to have share the new ball.

    Howe Notes: Like the Marvel universe, we are to rely on a multiple Chris based attack. All I know about Tremain is that he once got picked for an ODI series against South Africa, Australia got belted and Tremain making an appearance was evidence that no one was really taking it seriously. Chris Tremain is an anagram of RACSIM HINTER.
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  4. Hunter AD Hunt

    Give me the ginger.
  5. DVMace09 Member

    I enjoy that you've accepted that you didn't need a photo of Zohaib because he's everywhere on the forum anyway. Say hi, Zohaib!
  6. Magrat Garlick M Garlick

    DBZ lager; that pint you got which somehow tasted of nothing but slightly bitter water and yet gave you a hangover for a week.
  7. Athlai JJD Heads

    The Taps is okay I guess
  8. Phlegm SP Phlegm

    i enjoyed the earnestness and passion in this
  9. Cribbage RG Cribb

    So many of the Howe thoughts cracked me up. Excellent posts.
    Howe likes this.
  10. Alex AJ O'Driscoll

    The nick Larkin notes are excellent.
  11. Chewie JA Chewie

    Qais Ahmed = Hafeez apparently
  12. Howe JHF Howe

    I really enjoyed writing them. It's made me a lot more excited for the tourney proper, and I was already quite keen.
  13. Howe JHF Howe

    ID          Player                  Batting       Bowling                       P Pos     S Pos     Keeping       BwlPref BatPref Batting Strength    Batting Weakness
    277912      Trent Boult             Right-hand    Left-arm medium-fast          7+        -         -             Left    Pace    Left-arm seamers    Ball turning away 
    44936       AB de Villiers          Right-hand    Right-arm medium (P)          45        6         Average (P)   Right   Spin    Ball turning in     Right-arm seamers 
    267724      Keshav Maharaj          Right-hand    Slow left-arm orthodox        7+        -         -             Right   Spin    Ball turning away   Ball turning in   
    56194       Tamim Iqbal             Left-hand     Left-arm medium (P)           12        3         -             Left    Pace    Ball turning in     Ball turning away 
    439952      Chris Morris            Right-hand    Right-arm fast-medium         7+        6         -             Left    Spin    Ball turning away   Ball turning in   
    553800      Chris Tremain           Right-hand    Right-arm medium-fast         7+        -         -             Left    Spin    Ball turning away   Left-arm seamers   
    262456      Dane Vilas              Right-hand    Right-arm medium (P)          4567+     -         Average       Right   Spin    Right-arm seamers   Left-arm seamers   
    533870      Nick Larkin             Right-hand    Right-arm medium (P)          12        345       Dire (P)      Right   Pace    Right-arm seamers   Ball turning away 
    41434       Mohammad Hafeez         Right-hand    Right-arm offbreak (P)        123456    7+        -             Left    Spin    Ball turning away   Right-arm seamers 
    477069      Baba Indrajith          Right-hand    Right-arm legbreak (P)        45        67+       -             Right   Pace    Ball turning in     Ball turning away 
    327123      Ankit Bawne             Right-hand    Right-arm offbreak (P)        45        36        -             Left    Spin    Ball turning away   Right-arm seamers 
    914171      Qais Ahmad              Right-hand    Right-arm legbreak            7+        56        -             Right   Pace    Right-arm seamers   Ball turning away 
    9310        Tim Bresnan             Right-hand    Right-arm medium              67+       -         -             Left    Spin    Ball turning away   Left-arm seamers   
    43872       Zohaib Khan             Right-hand    Slow left-arm orthodox (P)    567+      34        -             Right   Pace    Left-arm seamers    Right-arm seamers 
    24598       Eoin Morgan             Left-hand     Right-arm medium (P)          456       7+        -             Right   Pace    Right-arm seamers   Left-arm seamers   
    354441      Keith Barker            Left-hand     Left-arm medium               7+        -         -             Left    Pace    Right-arm seamers   Ball turning away 
    976571      Bahir Shah              Right-hand    Right-arm offbreak (P)        34        5         Dire (P)      Left    Spin    Right-arm seamers   Left-arm seamers   
    901155      Liam Hatcher            Right-hand    Right-arm medium-fast         7+        -         -             Left    Pace    Right-arm seamers   Ball turning away   

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